Theyve only been talking for weeks and he thinks he has fallen in love with this person. Not when I didnt know was coming, and the whole world was shocked to hear that the one couple who had it together is now falling apart. We have more information about what to do in a crisis at https://www.goodtherapy.org/in-crisis.html, I have been married for 6 1/2 years and now i want to leave my husband. I have no respect. Wow, that sucks.feel terrible that you have to go through that especially when youve been so patient with all of her disabilities. How to cope: This is a great opportunity and time to ask yourself what you want to do with your time and how you want to live. But things with him have never been logical. Guilt that you couldn't help your spouse. The relationship was most likely very comfortable and good in many ways, but trust that you will rekindle some of your romantic spark and realize that your marriage was unfulfilling. Wow. Although my son is older, he still has two years of high school left. Im so sad and heartbroken and feel like I gave him my heart for nothing, wasted 26 years of my life. Please contact us if you have any questions. The truth is if it is important to you, it should be important to him. So your husband left you for somebody else? The relationship causes you to feel bad about yourself, both before, during and after being together. Ive lost my best friend, majority of custody of my daughter, my family home, my values and my wife. Very timely She should not know what your settlement is.she is waiting for it. Days are much better here this time around wasnt nearly as hard. We can, for sure, take this as a learning experience about ourselves and our relationship needs. Love has to be tough this is one reason no matter what you must not take her back . We share same breathe. My estranged husband wants a divorce after 23 years. My wife wanting me to be happy is tormenting. So, i had to ask my family for money. You did nothing, they are completely insane and carma will find them as it has found everyone who ever wronged me. I have faith in you, I am here supporting your happiness and believe you will find the strength to do exactly what you need to. We started to date and things moved along. I left her cause she was a gold digger had 4 affairs and she was a thief . Oddly she got over it then 2 months later had a breakdown. Nah Im good thanks, I can and will survive this, besides I had a few hours sleep last night. He is so cold and aloof it drives me crazy. It sounds like she just couldnt take the build up emotionally anymore, but that can be fixable. The only one I feel sad about is our son, they used to be so close ,its as though he is jealous of how his own sons life is going so great, has his dream job , his youth and health and trys to make US feel guilty about HIS life choices that he still insists on taking , even though the jobs he takes are for longer spells on the other side of the world and with every excuse why he cant phone , email ( no or little Internet ) give out his address or even post a letter, cant send him birthday cards or presents ( post to expensive and cant trust the mail ) When you are ready to tell your story Wendy , you will be amazed on how it flows. I hope you can continue to be strong and take the steps to be in control. I have no control over their daily lives with her I can only be thankful her parents are so actively involved in her life which she has thus far been able to suck the life out of them to the point I dont think they will last much longer. Part of me wants to just move on and forget that any of this ever happened. 2005-2023 Psych Central a Red Ventures Company. That is the latest science. Anyway things bumbled along for about 2 years then her new best friend decided to came on to me which I thought was a joke at first as that sort of thing never happens to me (my wife is the pretty one). Although she wasnt having a physical affair, she was having an emotional one. Jeez, sounds like the 26 year itch. If the relationship is really over, learning to let go is important. I'm not lonely or struggling with my daily tasks. He now comes home one day a week and a little on the weekends. And I continued living this new lie was a real Jekyll and Hyde until I met my wife who had / has a heart of kindness I had never experienced before. I loved my husband, I was happy. I hope u can sort your situation so you are not left rearing the kids by yourself. I did however have enough control of my wits to get a lawyer and try to speak for my innocence in court. ..u have given me strength. If you have low self-esteem, your man might lose respect for you and feel like he doesnt honor you anymore. We have always had a strong relationship, but I lost my job and she was just about to start college, I got another job with the government and was doing that while she was in school, yes because of this situation we did get behind finiancally . There is real evil in the world you are absolutely correct. He does almost everything anyone in their 60s would do. His ex wife cheated and moved in with the girl she met.he was very hurt and hated her he said.when she found out we had moved in she decided to move to Vegas.even more he was hurt cuz she took her kids from him.its 4 years later now and she decided to move back. No one warned me that the "change of life" meant that I would be at war with my own body . I lost my wife, two stepdaughters and someone I thought was a friend.I was good to her and never cheated. But I felt like he had used me and that he had only married me to have a life he would otherwise never have had. How do I keep my self-esteem high when Im going through this? Most likely you fell out of love because you decided to stop loving your partner or you decided that you loved someone or something else even more. We made each other laugh every day, we goofed off an had fun. They might stop eating or eat more to dull the pain. Straamy2 where are you from? Hes cut that off and I am bereft no kiss, no cuddle, no sweet goodbye when he sees me off to work. Im still in shock over the entire situation.I have our entire life in my posession and dont even know where to begin.Stress has made things even worse. He was my best friend, and had promised we could co-parent., My childs father was leaving me. We are taking things slow but it looks like he has a lot of maturing to do. Well the next week she filed a pfa against me to leverage her getting the kids half time and support paying child support. Here it is. I took very care for her than I took for anybody else. My experience has taught me that you can only rely on one person in this world to love you unconditionally and that is Jesus. I feel betrayed n disappointed. Maybe tomorrow I will feel better, thats what I keep thinking & one of these times I will. Well me and my wife had problems and being in a job that moves me for months at a time doesnt help. The very best i could do is tip toe and stear her away from the many triggers for her depression and rage. Not every day is fireworks and high school passion, my love. Dog depression is similar to the kind we as humans experience. Guilt that your children have a mentally ill parent that you can . My husband filed a bogus Restraining Order and threw me out if my home. I thought we had a decent marriage. I dont know how to be strong. I was so scared and so alone and it was all of a sudden. Its very sad but I want her happy. Hurt beyond comprehension that this has been all calculated and the number of lies that had been told to me for I cant even imagine how long. She has been exposing her private parts to men online.Right now she is in another state living in a hotel with a guy who is also married and she told me she is having sex with him.he told her he is leaving his wife.I have been hit with so many blows to my heart. There is a Creator of the Universe who cares about you and wishes nothing but the best for your life. The guilt. Her behaviour to me changed and she became distant, rude and put me on the back burner. 5 years ago I started to discover and figure out that my wife was a substance abuser,drug addict with prescription meds, narssasis, pathological liar. I never was, I dont get it. All rights reserved. Theres a reason to leave someone. my wife is never contented with the marriage and she keeps packing even with no good reason leaving the kids behind.the other day i had visited her she told me that i shld train to stay without her because she can leave me and get married 2 another man.i have really sacrificed 4 the good survival of this marriage bt i just feel that the push has come 2 shove and its the high time i let it go 4 the sake of my life ,assist please, Thank you for your comment, Paul. I asked her, without being overbearing or pushy a couple of times what was wrong and if I could do anything to help, and she assured me everything was fine, she just found this time of year hard. Cant sleep without sleeping pills or wine. Move on and dont look back you deserve better then that some times broken glass need to stay broke dont try to fix it sweep it up and throw it away GOD is gonna put your soul mate right in front of you bless you and Carrie on you dont need that to be in contact in front of your children.its her lost dont take her back eitherthen she win. She wouldnt let me see them anymore and everything got so much worse. She threatened to kill herself in August in front of our youngest plus in January at her place of work saying she is going to enact her plan sooner. While cutting your hair may be regrettable, more harmful decisions may result in challenges down the road, such as substance misuse. What about #6You were just an abusive alcoholic and I was sick and tired of being your punching bag? My wife denies it. After he left her for a younger woman, Mark Harrison was portrayed in his wife's newspaper column and recent novel as a selfish cad. Pschycopath, sociopath or narcissist, because he has no empathy, guilt, nothing, no feeling..this is hard for me to grasp, because I feel its my fault and I have fix it or me There You go!! My Husband Left Me! Let Him Go or Fight for Our Marriage? Their loss. I like CassieDbut its getting to be almost a half of a year since she has posted. no good reason and that hes been thinking about it for a year! When he blames you for his emotional state, he is doing several things: He is failing to take control of his own life. Hardly functioning, feeling helpless. This information was compiled from divorced couples, or as it may seem, long-term relationships. Here's what the research says on why it happens and how to cope. 7 Things You Should Never Expect From a Narcissistic Husband People snap. Mt friends thought I was anorexic, and my mental health took a big decline. 1. Kept promises: A promise, is a promise, is a promise, unless you are married to a narcissist. We have talked about this more than I can count. Im sorry for what you are going through Im in the exact same boat Married 17 years too he left this is my husbands 2nd affair Its sickening how a spouse can do this.. I guess working 2 jobs and taking care of the kids and the house. I have struggled with anger issues for quite a large portion of my life. The trust we had is gone. now this 55 year old woman, has pierced her nose, lip, all up and down both ears, and has gotten three tattoos.it is very strange behavior, for a woman who went to church. Say, "I apologize for being disrespectful when I". There was an excuse for every red flag that had shown up through the many years with the women whos emails he left open on his desk top , always the needy type in a bad relationship sad lonely women who fell for his charms (like he is some credible marriage guidance councellor haha ! ) Change your life train. Wed been having problems. I found this searching for some advice. A therapist or counselor can often be supportive and helpful. New Years 2015 she told me it was well and truly over after As she was not happy. He is indicating he has no power to change; you have all the power. I have faith in you and hopefully me reaching out will help show while there is real evil, there is real good in the world. It has now been some time since then and many conversations regarding the relationship not being one where we operated as a couple. Sounds familiar except mine was emotional abuse, yip, happened to me too, thank g i kept postponing the wedding date or id be stuck in an abusive marriage with a traumatized kid. He is talking of selling the family home. Hi Kelly, I know what it feels like to go through that. I am completely devastated, I love her so much, and we have two children together. When your partner is depressed it may be very difficult to get clarity on this.