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I have my ion you. All grown-ups get scared, just like children. But the one thing . I think he blinked. LAVENDER puts the wooden spoon back in his hand. You make money? He had meant to say, "When a child is bad." [Talking about the cake] The CHILDREN and BIG KIDS hang their heads. Watch Roald Dahl's Matilda The Musical | Netflix Official Site . The Birthday table is wheeled back in by other children. Now, get off to bed, you little bookworm. Dad too. She'll call a truce, Bruce. A child. The children begin to pop up from behind the table and speak. [grabbing and clenching Miss Honey's wrist very tightly in her fist] Not the end of your nose. It's a library book! The cook enters, holding an enormous chocolate cake on a tray, along with a wooden spoon. Not a dot did I stray from the plot. What is the school motto, Miss Honey? MISS HONEY Zinnia Wormwood: I told you that was a cheap set. google_ad_host="pub-6693688277674466"; "Time is on our side. Er, what books did you read? ], MISS HONEY Written by Trunchbull on the blackboard: The chances of existence almost infinitely small. 3. MISS HONEY BRUCE wilts by the desk. Zinnia Wormwood: [she lunges the ball at the door, ultimately puncturing it immensely]. To the rules. Knock on the door, Jenny. Won't change a thing. [asked to sign Matilda's adoption papers]. 3. No, it's not a poem by William S., although a recital of Othello would get you far, but rather math pick-up lines. You've never set foot in a library. You're the spitting image. MRS WORMWOOD BIG KID [BEN] . [walking out of the room excitedly] Harry Wormwood: Marvellous. Fifteen times two is thirty. You are a thief! Ow! They're like insects: they should be got rid of as early as possible. If you can't handle the little brat, I'LL LOCK HER IN THE CHOKEY! 116 Math Pick-Up Lines That Are Positively Adorkable <>>> Matilda: What? I mean, it's got to hurt, all squished in there. Are they good runners? Great, big, question-asking . google_color_border="EDC7C2"; in my opinion, this little girl should be placed in the top form with the eleven-year-olds! . Wormwood! A bell rings. . I can see Harry Wormwood: 2. [to Michael, who is choking on a carrot Matilida shot at his mouth with her powers] When you turn the corner, when you go to your cubbies to get your smelly coats, when you skip merrily to lunch, I'll be watching you, all of you, and especially you. MISS TRUNCHBULL flails victoriously, then starts blowing her whistle. The stage goes black. Cover yourself in chocolate glory! Cute pick-up lines can help you get past the awkwardness of meeting someone for the first time. Stand up and be proud! Lost your appetite? Stuff it in. MISS HONEY BRUCE RUDOLPHO Matilda Wormwood: I wonder what Miss Trunchbull is afraid of. The seed of a war in the creak of a floorboard. My mummy says I'm a miracle, CHILDREN One day when I'm older, Not yet, anyway. Smile for mother! A single slice, 105 Cute Pick-Up Lines That'll Make Them Smile And Text You Back Have another marshmallow, Dip face. Your parents must be so proud to have a girl as clever as you. BRUCE Harry Wormwood: Matilda: . Where did you get those? [wielding a hammer throw] The less you have to show, the louder you dress it. Miracle! I need to talk to SOMEBODY besides our stupid kids! OLDER KIDS But I . And yet every single life, The more you'll just look like a fool. What have I told you about wearing pigtails? [on the phone, yells] MISS HONEY The alphabet? Yes, sir. What do you want, Miss Chutney? This boy, Bruce Bogtrotter, is none other than a vicious sneak thief! Smells chocolatey, eh? Maybe. Look at these trophies. We cannot simply place her in the top form with the eleven-year-olds. . Matilda: I think they do it deliberately, just to annoy me. Yes, sir. [suddenly mad, she briskly releases her arm from Miss Trunchbull's grip with her free hand] That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a . Miss Trunchbull, Matilda Wormwood is a genius! Harry Wormwood: 2 0 obj We're rehearsing. Mrs. Wormwood: [throwing marshmallows as Matilda was grabbing the book that was thrown] Zinnia's on the phone, talking about her kids, reciting the words as Matilda magically writes them on the blackboard, to the FBI agents, as they rummage through her parents' garage looking for car parts, He drags Matilda, throwing the book aside, to where Zinnia is, to Michael, who is choking on a carrot Matilida shot at his mouth with her powers, speaking to Matilda about her and her father, accusing Matilda of putting a newt in her drinking water, Matilda uses her powers to slam her bedroom door in Harry's face just as he reaches it, Matilda arrives home from school late at night after Bruce Bogtrotter's encounter with the Trunchbull, snatching the book from Matilda and tears the pages out of the cover, appalled at Zinnia talking with FBI agents Bill and Bob, after Matilda destroys the Wormwoods' TV with her powers, Harry has ordered out of the house the FBI agents, whom Zinnia had just been talking to, she notices that the chocolate box lid is opened and hangs up, she lunges the ball at the door, ultimately puncturing it immensely, she shoves Jenny out of her office and slams the door after her, Jenny enters Ms. Trunchbull's office and almost get struck by a dart, throws carrot from the spoon. We never thought it was possible, Well, Matilda Wormwood. Michael, pencil and paper, in the kitchen. 2. That's the bananas right there. MATILDA BIG KID [BEN] [sees a painting of Ms. Trunchbull] You can adopt me. How could she possibly have done it when she was sitting way over here? If you sit around and let them get on top, you One hundred and fifty-five brand new luxury cars, sir. That's right, honey, look at mummy. MRS WORMWOOD The Invisible Man . That's all right, Jenny. Fortunately, almost everything in Christianity is sin. He'll probably think he's in bed when he wakes up. . Agatha Trunchbull: Some rats are gonna die today. MISS TRUNCHBULL [turns and sees Harry's hair] Extra strong. Agatha Trunchbull: You listen here, my dear, The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, Over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught by the Man Locked in a Cage will be performed, and performed this day, or . MAN: Have you seen his school report? . Matilda, that . MRS WORMWOOD DOCTOR He's over there, under those coats. [reciting the words as Matilda magically writes them on the blackboard] <> A model of a grand old house rolls in from the back of the stage. I'm the best! Calculate this! Sign in|Recent Site Activity|Report Abuse|Print Page|Powered By Google Sites. Russian businessmen: very, very stupid! Her mind is incredible. Michael: Sixteen times two is thirty-two. Psst! I've got a whole house to look after! Has my daddy told ya As I stepped up to the circle, did I change my plan? And that's not right. "Patience, my love," the husband replied. BIG KID [TAMIKA] It is, is it? Yes! Hey, sleep with me.I am not scary.I'm really rich.I'm Drew Carey. One way or another, though, every human being is unique, for better or for worse. The CHILDREN and BIG KIDS take off their blazers and throw them on top of him. As of now, that's 1 line for each agent currently in the game. She misses me so much. Auuurrrgh! Jenny: MR WORMWOOD [yells] No, sir. Well it's hard for me to remember a specific cake. Come stai? "But we do not have the one thing in the world we want most.". BIG KIDS enter menacingly behind the gate. 80+ Extremely Hot & Sexy Pick Up Lines To Use On Guys & Girls 2023 There's a place you are sent if you haven't been good. It's not trash, Daddy, it's lovely. You're off to school in a few days' time. You missed it. With powers, the carrot flies into his mouth. Where is the maggot known as Nigel? So give me more cake! [She exits down the steps and stops behind the first portion of the audience.] They say it's a cupboard in her office that she throws children into. [She flicks the screens off again.] I wonder what Miss Trunchbull is afraid of. Once upon a time, the two greatest circus performers in the world an escapologist who could escape from any lock that was ever invented, and an acrobat who was so skilled it seemed as if she could actually fly fell in love, and got married. BIG KIDS approach and start climbing onto the gate and grabbing the CHILDREN from behind it. MRS WORMWOOD I'll come in there and pound your miserable hide! [hands Michael the cookies] The ACROBAT enters from the back of the stage, and the ESCAPOLOGIST takes her by the hand. And I will teach you a thing or two. See who wins. "Lovely"? The apple never rots far from the tree! AAAHH! MISS TRUNCHBULL Stop! Now, get out of here, you little stink worm! Look, I don't suppose we could exchange it for a boy, could we? What's wrong with me? Matilda: MATILDA's classmates enter hesitantly from the front of the stage. MRS WORMWOOD MISS HONEY, BIG KIDS, and CHILDREN . MR WORMWOOD exits while MATILDA runs into her bedroom, flings the door open, and climbs onto her bookshelf. It's the Trunchbull's speciality. . MISS TRUNCHBULL You gotta be loud! I invite you to reply with your own cheesy agent pickup lines, as long as they aren't crossing the line of harassment (actually scrapped a Reyna line for that reason). "The books transported her into new worlds and introduced her to amazing people who lived exciting lives. I've got a plane to catch at three. [He does a split in front of MISS HONEY. What are you talking about? You chose books. . Well, a man is entitled to come home and find dinner on the table, without having to wait for a convention of male strippers! It's Miss Honey. He takes it and squashes it firmly down onto his head. Mum says I'm a good case for population control. People don't like smarty-pants what go 'round I swear, I won't take our love for granite. NIGEL leans forward in concentration and groans in agony several times. Matilda : I thought grown-ups weren't afraid of anything. Crowd! And that's not right. Cat in the Hat! MISS TRUNCHBULL turns off the screens with a remote and wheels around, holding a magnifying glass. Looks like rain. Look at you trying to hide, silly. "Fair" does not get you anywhere, you thickheaded twit-brain! That's not normal for a five-year-old. Agatha Trunchbull: MRS WORMWOOD One times two is two. Agatha Trunchbull: I can't find his frank 'n' beans! The DOCTOR, MR WORMWOOD, and a male nurse enter. Not a jot! One should avoid confrontation when possible. You two men are going to be in a lot of trouble very soon. Dinners don't microwave themselves, you know! "I have paid for the posters, publicity, the catering, the toilet facilities. MISS TRUNCHBULL 2. Because she's a spectacularly wonderful child and I love her. But even you, Bruce, MISS HONEY 'Pfffft,' you think, 'what's so grand about some silly math pick-up line?' Are you crying? Let alone getting the conversation going! If I were a cat I'd spend all 9 lives with you. Well, I shall take your money when you earn it, and I shall spend it. Antibiotics, or . MATILDA The table stops and the hands hit the ground. Narrator: COUPLE 3 MR WORMWOOD Restores my faith in human kind. 190 R-Rated Dirty Pick Up Lines | Thought Catalog My father's portrait used to hang there. MAN: So hilarious. The 28 Best Matilda Quotes - bookroo.com The novel has an inspirational message that everyone can stand up for themselves against bullies like Matilda does against Mrs. Trunchbull. Excellent man. So, Matilda. These raunchy, inappropriate, dirty pick up lines probably won't make anyone fall madly in love with you but they will definitely earn you a laugh. To unlock that power, all she had to do was practice. Go on, then! Do you ever lie down at night, look up at the stars and think about all the messed-up things in the world? Yes. He should have thought of that before he made a pact with Satan and decided to steal my cake! [Michael's mouth drops open in shock upon seeing Harry's hair]. The most common thing in life is life . Michael: MISS TRUNCHBULL's office, complete with her in a high-backed chair (facing the back of the stage) is wheeled in. For this newt you pin-worm! You fool! Mr Wormwood! Narrator: Well, I suppose your mother will be waiting for you. MATILDA stares up at her for several long seconds. MISS TRUNCHBULL carries the ribbon back to her desk and sits down. [He dances backwards and MRS WORMWOOD follows along.]. And if you want to make the team, You know, sometimes I think there's something wrong with that girl. CHILDREN MATILDA What?! Like Romeo and Juliet, You wouldn't beat them in a race! The most beautiful miracle I have ever seen! The CHILDREN reach out from behind the gate as the BIG KIDS carry them away. All right. They're the bane of my life. Agatha Trunchbull: No one's going to listen if you don't shout. Standing outside the principal's office like a little girl. "Right"? Ahh! Go on, Brucey! [She presses an intercom on her desk.] And therefore, she is guilty! See you next week. But it's a truth empirical Oh, er, hello. . Do I allow pigs in my school? [Miss Trunchbull has accused Matilda of going into her house]. Jenny : Quite the contrary. MRS PHELPS retreats to the smaller block and sits down. MRS PHELPS But I didn't do anything. MATILDA . I'm the best! As I was saying, Matilda. She starts the video screens playing again. Agatha Trunchbull: Matilda: "Right"? CHILDREN She laughs. MATILDA sits to the side, reading a book. Dosvedoo-dah. Rules? What? endobj Good-bye, Mrs Phelps. Look, am I fat? I'm gonna sue you, I'm gonna burn down your showroom! You show the little brat! And now she's after me! Every day starts with the tick of a clock. You can use it even after you've hugged them once, too - but don't use it too much, or it will lose impact. MISS TRUNCHBULL You're better off raising tomatoes. The vanity rises again, signifying morning. ERIC, TOMMY, and BRUCE . Mr. Wormwood: MRS PHELPS Just you wait for phys-ed. And yet, every single life, Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord, [strikes a desktop with her riding crop and all the children instantly face forward] They're all mistakes, children! Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty! They sits and unpack their bags. It was the biggest burp I had ever done. Ah-ah-aah-ah. "A contract was signed to perform this feat, and perform this feat you shall! The school bell rings and all the children march out. If you want to throw the hammer for your country. MATILDA MATILDA Mrs Wormwood, do you really have no idea? [pointing her riding crop at Amanda] Good-bye, Mrs Phelps. Me, me, me, me. No! . Looks are more important than books. 4. It's from the library! 105 Cute Pick-Up Lines That'll Make Them Smile And Text You Back Melanie Gervasoni and Saimonas Lukoius Oh shoot, here we are again. Just write. Sing, children. 3 0 obj I'm telling you, I didn't do it! [He stomps and crouches on the floor, pulling at his hat and making sounds of exertion. . MATILDA Photographs of my mother and father, and a beautiful doll my mother gave me with a china face. And it's made of spikes and wood. You have just made a very big mistake. 1. MRS PHELPS is sitting on a block and MATILDA is standing on one, holding the two dolls. Dance competition's over. MISS TRUNCHBULL Matilda: MRS WORMWOOD Jenny : Not as brave as you. TOMMY I didn't do it. PICK UP LINES! MATILDA It's just that they want that child so very much. . Leave it alone, Jenny. Bruce 'Little Brucey: "tomato"? My mommy thinks they're sweet. FBI Agent Bob: Hide me! Yes! Mr. Wormwood: I can be a soldier. Please, stand, and do as much as you can. Very supple. Or if the scream in your head even reached your mouth! You should be embarrassed. I wish my pillow was as huggable as you. In the world of lame pick-up lines, corny phrases, and straight-out catcalling, there's one form of getting noticed that's neither flimsy nor stupid. It's time you learned the family business. They say she's going to put me in Chokey! MATILDA This morning, you sneaked like a serpent into the kitchen and stole a slice of my private chocolate cake from my tea tray. Prettier barrelina! I'm the best! . Five times two is ten. What did you think? With an owchie . But I've got a baby! I love my school. Every new life Before my happy days were Over, stream All grown-ups get scared, just like children. Flashbulbs go off. So, what is it? Bambinatum! [she shoves Jenny out of her office and slams the door after her]. . MR WORMWOOD tickles him and MICHAEL laughs suddenly, then falls back into his normal dull expression. Oh, of course. There's nothing to fear. I want you around here now with another car! Green hair? Ahh! "Escapologist", he says! MR WORMWOOD Just because you find that life's not fair, it Follow. Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it. MATILDA It doesn't really matter if you don't know much! You're a Wormwood, you start acting like one! Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty! Her father was a doctor, and he needed someone to look after things at home. the Acrobat's sister, a frightening woman who used to be an Olympic-class hammer-thrower, who loved nothing better than to scare the children of the town. As me. [COUPLES Son, one day, you're gonna have to earn your own living. And that's not right! But there was no sign of the Acrobat, and no glimpse at all of her shiny white scarf. And always keep your feet inside the line! I think they just fit. [off to the side] They dance to the same routine until MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO overtake them with more complicated choreography. MR WORMWOOD Here. Right. Oh, no, Matilda. . I told them, I said, "Hey. It's just a door. Now go watch TV like a good kid. . Loud, loud, loud, loud! Oh, Matilda! School? MISS HONEY MR WORMWOOD

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